School's out for Summer....okay well winter actually, but no one wrote a song about winter.

Assignments delivered. Exams attended and hopefully completed with success. Old books put away and new ones taken their place, primed for the next semester along with a new timetable, it's colour coding matching the dividers in the pristine notebook sitting on my shelf. It's newness indicative of the new slate that the beginning of new units brings. The semester 1 information that I had fought so bravely to contain within my grey matter, begins slowly to leak out, leaving only remnants of that information, deemed important to remember for future reference. With one semester finished and seemingly never ending weeks till the new one begins, one begins to consider options for the "Hooray, I have finished my exams and have an awfully long time till I have to pick up another book that is not related to either Elves or Wizards and contort my brain into remembering things that it really wishes to forget, all the while creating plenteous excuses not to study" celebration. Some call it simply the "End of Semester" celebration, but I believe the former is a far more vivid and lively description.

Celebrations surrounded me, like geeks surrounding the newest release of World of Warcraft. Logging onto Facebook I saw multitudes of students preparing for the post semester wind up. Parties to the left and trips to Northbridge to the right. If I so desired I could have visited all the great party spots of Perth in, what was described on one event's pages, "the most awesome 10 hours of your life." As I didn't desire anything of the sort I began to consider what I could do in 10 hours that would blow these parties out of the water. It was easy. It was a given. There was no choice really. If anyone has a spare 10 hours and reason to celebrate, I could recommend only one thing. One thing to delight. To maximise those 10 hours in the most worthwhile way possible.

My post exam celebration was to be a Lord of the Rings Marathon. Who needs parties, loud music and alcohol when you could have 10 blissful hours crammed with Gandalf, Aragorn, several Hobbits and a convoluted story about the one ring to rule them all, one to to find them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them? I say no one. Lord of the Rings provides you with all the sustenance one needs for a post exam repose. It's full of iron, protein, Vitamin B12 and zinc, and so much more that it could be mistaken for Centrum. The only thing it's missing is artificial colourings and flavourings, saturated fat and a shitload of sugar, so being the responsible adult I am, I went shopping to ensure all my nutritional needs would be met......


With a belly full of Pineapple Hunks (okay I am sure they used to be called Chunks, not Hunks), and visions of far away lands enveloping me, creating warmth like a great pair of ugg boots, the next 10 hours of sheer delight were like a pat on the back for all the hard work I had put in over the previous 14 weeks, emptying my mind just enough to allow some room for next semester.

Frodo: "I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."
Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

Earth, Fire, Wind, Water.....Banana?

By your powers combined I am Captain Exam!



I have discovered the secret to a successful exam. No it's not copious amounts of studying or having the answers written up the inside of your left arm. Neither is it a proficient understanding of the topics covered in every unit. Although knowledge is of course a handy thing to have during exam week, if you want to really succeed, the secret is in pre exam sustenance. We've all heard the term 'brain food' spouted by our mothers and in the old Channel 9 Community Service announcement ads (for those too young to remember these TV wonders, please feel free to check out the You Tube video and be amazed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-bRi1qHPVY) Food that makes you clever, witty and far more attractive to the opposite sex. Food that would transform a credit into a high distinction. Along with omega 3 packed fish and lycopene filled tomatoes, banana's are a brain boosting marvel and my preferred lifeboat in brain challenging times of need.

I guess they have almost become a bit of a superstition for me. Ever since I was in Year 10, when exams started to become more important then playing elastics in the playground, I have had a ritual of consuming a banana before each exam. The only time I remember not having a Potassium vessel prior to an exam, was a time I would rather forget. The experience was punctuated with memory loss, pencil biting and a unfortunate bout of snoring during reading time. Yes, I had discovered that bananas gives you sprightliness rivaling that of a cheerleading on the night of the big game, first rate memory like that that of an elephant (apparently they never forget) and intelligence so great as to attract the interest of Mensa.

This knowledge in hand I ensured that my fridge was stocked high with bananas and on the morning of my exam, as I crawled out of bed cursing the fact that my exam wasn't in the afternoon instead, I made myself a protein filled, instant smartness-inducing banana smoothie. Considering that my normal waking time was in fact 2 hours after this exam started, and I had only fallen asleep a mere 3 hours earlier, thanks to by banana brekkie I was surprisingly jovial and bright eyed as I approached the Gym. I wizzed through my exam in a banana induced euphoria, stopping only once to be lead to the bathroom like a prisoner. So strange it was to have someone standing outside the cubicle as you peed that I felt compelled to make a break for freedom, Shawshank style, by crawling through the sewerage system and make my way to Mexico. Alas, I allowed my 'prison' guard to lead my back to my table so I could finish my rant on Virtual Reality.

Post exam, as I reflected on my performance I realised that bananas, so great, yet so humble, could be a replacement for one of Captain Planet's Planeteer's powers. I mean all those who watched the show, along with being able to annoy many by singing the theme song, knew that Ma-ti's lame power of Heart did in fact suck. He was the brunt of so many Planet fans jokes and I believe that his power could quite easily be replaced by banana to the satisfaction of even the greatest of Captain Planet fansters. Who needs heart when you have the power of banana to increase your memory, intelligence and of course coolness?

By your powers combined, I am Captain Exam.